⚽Football Ipsum

The fourth official's put up the board, four minutes of added time. That's a proper captain's goal, dragged his team back into it. The manager's thrown on a striker, they're going for it now. The lad's got more tricks than a magician, defenders hate him. He's slotted it into the bottom corner, cool as you like.

The ref's bottled it again, that's a stonewall penalty all day long. He's been caught ball-watching and they've punished him for it. They're parking the bus, ten men behind the ball, it's not pretty. He's mugged the defender off there, left him for dead on the touchline. VAR is having a look at this one, the whole stadium is holding its breath.

Some people believe football is a matter of life and death... it is much, much more important than that. That's a proper captain's goal, dragged his team back into it. He's had a mare there, he'll want to forget about that one. The lad's got more tricks than a magician, defenders hate him. The ref's bottled it again, that's a stonewall penalty all day long.

He's hit the woodwork from thirty yards, what a strike that was. That's a proper reducer, he's let him know he's there early doors. VAR is having a look at this one, the whole stadium is holding its breath. He's put it on a plate for him and he's blazed it over the bar. He's slotted it into the bottom corner, cool as you like.